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Archive for December, 2008

Online Dating Services And Relationships

Wednesday, December 31st, 2008

With the personal computer and online dating phenomenon, many people are turning to the online dating services instead of the bar scene, blind

dates, or fix-ups by friends, to find potential partners. There are several differences in these couples and the ones that hop from one partner to

another, never finding what they are looking for.

Some online dating services prescreen possible fits based on personality traits. They have even come up with an online dating service that is for the

oddball, misfit personalities that conservative people may consider too eccentric or high strung for any type of long-term relationship. The common

factor of online dating service matches is that, if BOTH people are HONEST about who they are, and their traits match up in a balanced fashion, they

will be compatible, yet have some other interests that the other person doesn’t to keep the relationship interesting.

Some people who turn to online dating services have failed in several relationships or marriage for various reasons. The question is whether they are

carrying this past baggage or resentfulness with them, thus sabotaging any relationship, whether online or in person. It does not mean that they are a

bad person; maybe they were the innocent victim so to speak. While it takes two people to form a relationship, normally one is more responsible for

the breakup than the other one.

Psychologists say that the key to happy relationships is to be happy with yourself, first and foremost, and secure enough that you remain happy and

busy with your own life, and only use a relationship to spice up your life. Many failed relationships are due to the fact that one of the individuals is

looking to the relationship or other person to make them happy, thus becoming clingy, needy, and jealous, which turns the other person off and

running for the hills. By being happy and self-confident, you will draw a similar type person to you, and any relationship will manifest what you both

bring to the table.

If one or both partners are unhappy and looking for the other one to fulfill their needs, or if they are insecure and jealous, the whole relationship will

be one of neediness, insecurity and jealousy. Usually, these problems have an underlying cause and manifest themselves when something threatens

the relationship because the person is not secure or self-confident enough to let it go.

If you are dating a man that is looking at skinny, shapely women and you are slightly overweight, you are going to be jealous and insecure because

you feel you do not fit what interests him. By feeling secure with who you are, and finding a partner that accepts who you are, you will find a great

relationship where you are both happy and confident, and compliment each other’s life.